I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
