and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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