I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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