I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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