He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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