What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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