i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize