she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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