glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
