The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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