she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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