if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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