Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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