'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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