Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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