Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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