CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
