Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
