it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
this is an emotional support booty call
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
