Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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