He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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