this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
