and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
where am i from again
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
