Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
