I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize