After last night, I could never be a politician.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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