I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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