We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
