She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
