Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
