so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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