i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
