can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.