Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
