Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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