Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
