so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
