We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
