I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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