i may or may not be watching the land before time
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
