Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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