i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
