had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize