hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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