i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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