do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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