When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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