i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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