Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
