i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
