ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she peed on how many people?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize