Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
