Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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