I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
