I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
