shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
