Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
