Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Boobs are out for the taking
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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