woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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