I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
