i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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