Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
