So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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